Wk3/Day 20- Emotional Eating

I have been reading a brilliant book called "Eating the Moment" by Dr. Pavel Somov a practicing psychologist in the area of mindful eating.  In one of the chapters I read last night he discusses emotional eating.

He gave me some "food for thought" on reasons we eat to make ourselves feel better.  He explains that from birth, our parents first go-to for an upset baby is to feed it.  Many cultures, including our own, show love by providing food and treats.  In fact, our family dinner time is centered around the reality that eating, as we discuss the ups and downs of our day, is food for the soul.

He goes on to explain that instead of trying to change the fact that we go to food for comfort, we should instead make sure that our choice in coping truly helps.  Here are some of his ideas.

1. We should make a conscious choice to turn to food to cope with stress or emotion.  Not just veg out in front of the TV with a bag of potato chips, but verbally proclaim 'I feel             , I choose to eat            ,  to make me feel           .'

2. We should take the time to determine what our actual comfort foods are, instead of wasting calories on foods that don't really hit the spot.  Find the food that heals you and stock up on it.  You shouldn't make it a forbidden food, because then your emotional eating is full of guilt and doesn't really heal you.  Instead stock up and put it in a special place, then label it "medicine" as it is medicine for the soul.


3. Then carry around a little post- it pad and write yourself a prescription for some soul medicine.  This gives you at least a point to stop in a check whether the food is helping or not.  Write down "1 cup of ice cream" or "3 cookies".   Then at least stop and emotionally check whether that was enough or even the right prescription.  You can write another prescription if needed.

The point is to be mindful of what your doing, why your doing it, and whether or not it's helping.  Don't just mindlessly eat . . . let the food you choose really feed your soul.

Wk 3/Day 18- All You Can Eat Buffet

Last night we went out to eat at an all you can eat buffet.   I was way excited because I was mostly thinking about an expansive salad bar that most likely would serve lite-ranch.  I tell you, there is nothing better than a salad with all the fixings.  I was certain that this was a good idea, because with all the options available, I knew I would find plenty to eat that fit my diet rules.

When we got there, I was hungry and ready to find something yummy to eat.  As I wandered around with my empty plate, I couldn't help but notice all of the things I couldn't have.  Scones- NO.  Pizza- NO.  German chocolate cake- Naughty! 

My husband found me staring at the plate of cookies marked "sugar free".  At this moment, as I contently sit at my computer, I can't believe I was even considering bothering to eat a cookie that was sugar free.  But in that moment of deprivation it sounded pretty good.  Of course made with white flour and regular chocolate chips, I still would lose points- and a sugar free cookie is not worth that, so I passed it up.   

I went back to pile up the salad that I had so looked forward to.    Oh, it was grand!  Combination Romaine lettuce and spinach, with corn, carrots, cucumbers, cauliflower, kidney beans, raisins, sesame seeds (probably oil roasted- oops), topped with low fat cottage cheese and lite-ranch. 

After satisfying my hunger a little with a heavenly salad, I felt much better and could emotionally handle going back to the buffet for some roast, potatoes, and carrots, and some yummy squash.  I will admit, I got a piece of German chocolate cake and ate the coconut topping off with a little bit of cake for my last free 150 calorie indulgence for the week.  (Now I have to make it through the weekend without any indulgences- Hummm!)

Am I pathetic?  Or is this real?  The first week of this diet I felt empowered by it, but as it's wearing on I feel so limited by it.  I seem to remember a comment on one of my first posts indicating that as the diet wore on the feelings of deprivation grew stronger, so perhaps I am not pathetic- this is the path of everyone on a diet.  What do you think?  (Feel free to tell me I am pathetic- It's true)

Wk3/Day 16- My Secret

One of my biggest fears of this diet is that my children will find out what I am doing.  I am desperate to keep it secret from them.  Why?  Because I know the emotional detriments of dieting, and I never want my children to believe it is the way of life.

I teach my children that we can make good food choices, to take care of our bodies and make them strong.  I speak to them of the joy of our bodies and the amazing things they can do.   I find opportunities to show them the feeling of accomplishment in doing something physically challenging (like hiking to a scenic lookout).

I want them to have joy in and appreciation for their bodies and never to believe they must change them in order to be happy.  I want them to incorporate healthy eating and 'activities of living' in their lives- because that's just how we've always done things (not because "Mom's on a health kick again").


It was so hard last week when they wanted to share their treats with me.  My 3 year old is so kind  and couldn't understand why mommy was saying she didn't want any of his candy.  He knew it tasted good, knew I would find pleasure in it and therefore wanted to share.  And actually I felt like I was lying, in telling him I didn't want any of his candy.  I did want some, but I wasn't about to try to explain why I "couldn't" have any.  I don't want him to believe there are rules of eating that you have to live by when you are a certain weight or age. 

My question to the universe and to all of you, what are the true rules of eating?  I believe they are more limited in number than diet books lead us to believe and that they are unchanging- regardless of age and life situation.  What are they?  I genuinely invite your comments.

Here are my initial thoughts:

• We are meant to derive pleasure from eating and moving our bodies.
•  If we want to enjoy life to its fullest, we must be mindful of what we feed our bodies and how we treat them. 

 

Wk 3/Day 15- Nothing kills a party like . . .

Nothing kills a party like a person in the dinner group drilling the waitress on whether they can receive a discount on the meal if they forgo the dinner roll, which salad dressings are free from added fat/sugar, and whether they can have the cheese picked out of the Caesar salad.

This last week was absolutely no simple sugars week- an optional challenge which I chose to take on.  Unfortunately, this weekend, it also coincided with several family events.  I expected it to be difficult to say no to the  delicious treats and restaurant options, but was surprised that my resolve to meet the challenge this week made it easy to choose.  However, I didn't expect the emotional ride that would follow as I became the odd man out.

I lamely brought my own food into the restaurant to supplement the only dish I could find on the menu that fit the rules, soup.  I called my mom before family dinner and asked her to pick the cheese off a section of enchilada for me, before she baked it.  I quietly ate my non-sugared peaches, while the rest of the family ate birthday brownies.  It sucked!  

I am pleased to say I made it through the week and enjoyed peanut butter on my toast immediately after weighing in this morning.  Although I was strong all week against the temptation to eat anything containing sugar, I found pleasure in secretly planning what I was going to eat this week to "make up for it".

In fact, the deprivation was so overwhelming on Saturday, I made my husband take me to Subway for a sandwich all for me.  First, we responsibly researched online to determine sugar and white flour content of the different breads.  When we got there I ordered a foot long sandwich, with ham and provolone cheese and tons of veggies.  I had planned to take off the cheese and give it to my husband, but in the moment I unwrapped it, I just couldn't bear to give up the cheese.  I ate the whole foot long sandwich within about 7 minutes and, for the first time last week, felt satisfied.
P.S. I did have to subtract weekly points for eating the cheese.

My conclusion:  It was empowering to know I am stronger than my cravings, but my real conclusion is healthy eating is not restrictive dieting. 

And now, off to enjoy the brownie I swiped from the party last night.