Wk1/Day 5- I am not a Garbage Disposal

Funny enough- the thing I struggle with the most in regard to mindlessly eating things that aren't part of my diet, is the tendency I have to finish off what's left on my children's plates.  Yesterday, I had to keep telling myself "I am not a Garbage Disposal". 
I believe that happens to me a lot in other situations.  I think "Dang it, I paid for those fries!  I am not going to throw them away just because I am full."  But it's not like I get a refund or prize for finishing them.  My body is NOT a Garbage Disposal!

My diet allows for 3 indulgences a week and last night I took it up on the offer.  Guess what I ate?  The choices in this house are limited right now, so the winner was salt water taffy.  My oldest was at a birthday party and his younger brother was very sad he didn't get to go.  So I told him we would have our own little party. 

We took some treats downstairs and put on a movie.  I hadn't intended to eat anything, but he kept handing me some as he sweetly divided out the spoils.  So I decided it was a party and time for one of my free indulgences.  I jumped on the internet to calculate how many pieces I could have for 150 calories (the free indulgence limit) and determined I could have 4 pieces of taffy. 

I picked out my favorites and knew typically 4 pieces would be gone before I could take a breath (and after the breath I would be reaching for more).  I knew I wanted to enjoy every bit, so I sat down and closed my eyes.  I ate slowing and deliberately and just 4 pieces of salt water taffy hit the spot.  I was completely satisfied.  However, I did have to get up and take the treat bucket back upstairs to keep myself from mindlessly reaching for more.  

After thinking on yesterday's post I realize I may come across as the picture perfect Dietitian that always follows my inner cues and only eats when I am hungry and always stops when I am full.  So here's the real breakdown. 

I eat because:

• I'm hungry
• It's in front of me
• I deserve it- the kids have been naughty and I've had a hard day
• It's yummy and I'm going to eat it all eventually anyway!
• The taste of the last bite is still in my mouth and I inhaled it too fast to actually enjoy it, so I need another bite . . . and another!

I don't eat because:

• I'm full/satisfied
• Too busy- kind of forget to eat
• Too tired- I just worked to fix something for the kids and now all I want to do is go lay down
• I don't deserve it- Now this is a reason probably unique to me and probably requires major counseling or something.  

This diet is showing me more and more what triggers I am susceptible to, because it's making me stop and think "Wait, no!"

Wk1/Day4-The Ever-Present Sweet Tooth

Would you believe me, if I told you I haven't had any sweet cravings this week?
Honestly, I have felt totally content with what I have eaten and not missed the sweets.  And this comes as a total shock to me, because I'm the mom who raids the bag of chocolate chips because I don't have any other chocolate in the house.  Sure it's only Thursday, plenty of time for everything to come crashing down. 

However, I have a theory as to why this is the case.  I don't actually crave sweets- In fact I don't even think much about them when they are not around.  Well, I don't think much about them when they are around and therein lies the problem.  I am an unconscious eater.  I mostly only eat them because they are available and they taste good. 

As evidence for this theory, my husband walked in the door last night and my eyes immediately scanned his arms for food.  My extremely blessed situation means that my chef husband brings home something yummy from work most nights (not this week though).  I had to laugh at myself realizing that I only wanted the food because my husband walking in the door usually preceded something yummy to eat.  I am like Pavlov's dogs- trained to salivate just because of a ringing bell.  Pathetic.  (Poor guy, he's going to read my blog post and think I only greet him with such enthusiasm because he brings me treats.)

Now for the accounting of my day.  You know what diet rule I dislike the most?  The one that seems to be written in stone and accompany every diet out there.  NO EATING AFTER 8 PM.  Last night about 20 minutes to 8:00, I realized I hadn't gotten all of my point worthy foods in.  I went to water my garden and picked off a bunch of cherry tomatoes to take in one more vegetable serving, but was still missing 2 other "good food" servings. 

Now it was totally my fault.  I can look over my day and see where I could have planned better.  But as I stood there watering my garden, I had to decide what principle was most important to me and thus where I had to take a hit in points.  My options: 1. Force in food before 8:00, although I wasn't hungry, just to get the points.  2. Scrap the 8:00 rule and eat them a little later- so that I would still get the good food points, though I would lose points for eating after 8 p.m.  3. Stop eating now- no points for the good food, but no loss of points for eating after 8 p.m.

Can you guess what I chose?  I'll give you a clue for future rhetorical questions . . . My hunger/fulness cues win every time.  I wasn't hungry- so there was no reason to eat.  I finished watering the garden, put kids to bed, read my scriptures, said my prayers, and put myself to bed for at least 7 hours (points, points, points!) 

Wk 1/Day 3- My Obsession

Is this normal?  Day 3 and food has become my obsession.  Every thought is centered around what am I going to eat next.  I live next to my point chart and every time I eat something worth points I run over to mark it off.  It doesn't help that I spend the off-eating hours thinking about my next dieting blog post!

Perhaps a renewed focus on healthy eating is good, but I feel like this much energy spent on thinking about eating is not a balanced thing.  I suspect that it will wear down as the newness of the diet wears off, but I also suspect that this is where "diets" in general come up short.  Too much focus on eating and not enough on living.

So I was just talking with a friend and warned her our conversation might end up in a blog post.  We were discussing our beloved full fat creamy ranch dressing.  We both agreed that low fat salad dressings are disgusting and not worth the calories.  Full fat creamy ranch dressing- definitely worth the calories.  So here we have a dilemma: lose points for good salad dressing, choke down gross salad, or not eat salad for the next 5 1/2 weeks.  Honestly, I am inclined to not eat salad for the next several weeks and that doesn't seem quite right.

This diet plan is actually well balanced in its use of moderation.  You get 3 free indulgences a week (provided they are under 150 calories each) and you can always eat whatever you want and take the hit in points.  However, I still feel punished if I choose to eat certain foods, because I have to walk over to my chart and write down -5 points.    

On a good note!  Here's what I had for breakfast.  Steel cut oats!  I didn't eat it with the mint leaves- they were just for the picture.  My chef husband would not appreciate that I used a garnish that did not compliment the flavor palate of the dish, but it looked pretty.  I also filled it up with lots more fresh raspberries- fruit points.  It was wonderful!

 And since I took a picture of my breakfast cereal, so did my son.  Too funny!

Wk 1- Day 2 Perfect time of year for a diet

Figured the blog needed some pictures for visual appeal.

After dropping my oldest off at school we walked home (at a brisk pace- exercise points for that you know) and decided to play outside until it was time to take the next oldest to preschool down the street.  We went back into the garden with the intent to do some pruning and instead ending up just picking and eating delicious fresh raspberries and cherry tomatoes.  I kept thinking, "Ah, this is easy"- fruit and veggie points!

P.S. Day 2- New multivitamin- much better!

Week 1/Day 2- Cheating on my diet

So you're thinking "Day 2 and already she's cheating on her diet?  This isn't going to go far!"

Actually I fell short on Day 1, so it's even worse than you thought!

Last night we went out to dinner at IHOP because it was Labor Day and who wants to labor to fix dinner on Labor Day?  I bet you think you know where this is going, but no, I did NOT cheat at the restaurant.  In fact, I was quite proud of myself.  I had a delicious balsamic glazed grilled chicken covered in tomatoes and mushrooms with steamed broccoli on the side.  I even took on their only low-fat salad dressing on my salad- Italian- yuck!  (P.S. I could not finish the low-fat Italian flavored salad- but I gave it a good effort).

I was dying for a bite of my husband's country gravy smothered chicken fried steak - but I automatically lose diet points for words like smothered and fried.  So there again I prevailed- no delicious fatty fried steak for me.  I finished off my sons fruit bowl and left the restaurant feeling satisfied.

After we got home and were putting kids to bed, I glanced at the clock- It was 10 minutes to 8:00 p.m.  Diet rule # ---  "Thou shalt not eat after 8 p.m."  I thought, "I just know I am going to be hungry later.  I should eat something now."  But it didn't make sense to eat something when I wasn't hungry, just-in-case I got hungry later, so 8:00 came and went.

However, sure enough about 9:30 when I finished exercising, I was starving.  Now I know the rule is no eating after 8 p.m. and there were even points to earn if you kept to it, but I believe in eating when you are hungry.  Healthy eating or even eating for weight loss is not about will power against your body and my body was asking for food.  So I X'd out the box on my point chart for eating after 8 p.m. and made myself some peanut butter toast and went to bed feeling satisfied.

I missed points, but I think I won that battle.  Do you?

Week 1- Day 1

Most important thing I learned on Day 1- I am switching multivitamins!

So normally I don't take a multivitamin.  For most people, a well balanced diet with plenty of variety is adequate.  However, as part of the fitness competition I am participating in, you get points for taking a supplement- so bring on the multivitamin. 

Several months ago I picked up some Viactive chocolate chew multivitamins, thinking "yum chocolate!  Can't go wrong there."  Okay, you CAN go wrong there!  Multivitamins should not have artificial chocolate flavoring.  I have been burping up "chocolate nutrient taste" all day long.  It's horrid. 

Another thing I learned on Day 1- My body does not like whole wheat pancakes.

We had a fun Labor Day family breakfast this morning at my parent's house.  Lamely, I brought my own pancake batter and turkey sausage to make sure I kept to my diet (didn't want to loose points for white flour).  There was plenty of other good food and I certainly didn't feel deprived as I ate and visited with family.  However, I say "down with whole wheat pancakes." (Are dietitians allowed to say that?)  Flavor- not bad, but it has not sat well with me at all.  Combine that with chocolate multivitamin burps and we are not off to a good start.   

So although today was officially Day 1, I have been paying closer attention to what I have been eating for about a week now.  I knew that the start of this competition was just around the corner and so my little shoulder 'diet devil' kept telling me "oh, enjoy that now, 'cause you're not going to get that again for 6 weeks!"  I realize how strong the urge can be to tank up on treats prior to the start of a diet change.  I haven't bought many treats over the last week, in order to make sure they were all gone before today.  However, last night, I must admit I broke into the treat bucket I have for my piano students and ate several pieces of taffy just to end the day (start the next one) on a good note. 

So here we go- with new multivitamin, a boycott on whole wheat pancakes, and a little excitement with some apprehension over what the rest of the week may hold.